Journals6
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New Tools mean new responsibilities
2 min read
I have acquired new tools. I wanted to start this post by asking some of you out there about the type of art pieces you wanted to see from me. But I am trying to figure out what it is I can provide in order to not only please you guys, but my self. I am in a stage of my career where I need to elevate my art to another level. Why this feeling? Because I have struggled for 15 years trying to find a balance for what I do, and having split personality does not help. I have made a commitment to not run away because for too long I was afraid, afraid that my art is not good enough for anyone, including me. I have countless of unfinished sketchbooks because I was never satisfied with the art I created. I realized something, I am not using my gift to its full potential. and this is not just an interest, I have loved drawing since the first time I was pun in front of an easel back when I was 3.
I had to come to a real understanding with my self, that was "do I walk away from this and embark on another quest leaving all those hours of hard work and self fulfillment behind, or make the best of it and continue to grow. It seemed like the last scene of the (Exorcism of Emily Rose) movie. And not only that, as a freelancer I have encountered stubborn clients who either burned me, or I have had a displeasing experience with. At the time I though that it was all shit, and artists should have more say, blah blah blah, but in the end it allowed me to create a better system of marketing my self and allowed me to filter out who I want to work with.
The hardest thing I have ever done is the thing I love to do the most. So I will work harder to make better content and inspire many as many have inspired me.
Later Space Cowboys
I had to come to a real understanding with my self, that was "do I walk away from this and embark on another quest leaving all those hours of hard work and self fulfillment behind, or make the best of it and continue to grow. It seemed like the last scene of the (Exorcism of Emily Rose) movie. And not only that, as a freelancer I have encountered stubborn clients who either burned me, or I have had a displeasing experience with. At the time I though that it was all shit, and artists should have more say, blah blah blah, but in the end it allowed me to create a better system of marketing my self and allowed me to filter out who I want to work with.
The hardest thing I have ever done is the thing I love to do the most. So I will work harder to make better content and inspire many as many have inspired me.
Later Space Cowboys
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Dark drops of self destruction
3 min read
Being an artist is not an easy thing. Some one sold me to that idea back when I was naive and the world of knowledge
I had was a drop on an empty pocket. I write this entry because I want to hold my self accountable and stop living in this
roller coaster of highs and lows where I do one great piece of work and I sign it like Salvador Dali as I sit back and wait for
my muse to arouse me and sneak into my feelings once more to produce something else great in another month or so.
I am a professional artist and I cant continue such behavior. it is also unfair for those of you who sit idling (pft!) in wait
of something great while I wait to create it. When I have my highs I create and kill the page with color and ideas that I look
at now and say "damn, you can do better....show the world ZERO!" and then I hide on a tidal wave of excuses like work
and the lack of my ever betraying friend "muse".
What am I waiting on my self to do?
a great masterpiece to wow the masses or amount more dept?
I dont know how many of you can relate but I like to sit in front of my computer and do a project and finish it until
I see its completion, satisfying my self as I tap my self in the back with words of encouragement "Nicely done Zero!"
But then today I realized as I saw myself in the reflection of the frozen pies glass door at work [What The Fuck Are You Doing?]
Back in college stocking cans and bagging groceries was cute.....what the fuck are you doing back here?
-But I got laid off from a great illustration gig that provided me and my fam......
Excuse me? I didn't ask for another excuse, I asked what the Fuck are you doing working at another Grocery store for Minimum wage?
.......... Silence strikes...... because I cant excuse my self for my self destruction. And as I continue to get rejected with my current
portfolio I can't blame time although shit has gotten on my face like bugs on the high way, but I've been telling my self to get back to
sprucing up the only thing that will get me the opportunity for improvement and it still ends up in "I will leave it for tomorrow"
or "yes, I will be there".
Part of being professional is to meet my own deadlines, so as I write this I will say to those who follow me that I will do better
to show you all a different world that happens in my head every night, sometimes magnesium induced mixed with whatever I ate
"love those moments" because whatever crap happens on my end during the day, I get to live another life somewhere else;
I've just been greedy about sharing my experiences and for that I am sorry. but more to come and head first into the future that holds better things!
later Space Cowboys!
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Whats up peeps
1 min read
Hey gang! I really want critique on my current work, it would
certainly help me level up my skill so please check out my work
and leave comments!!! Hoping to get into a convention soon!!!
C:/ZEROMaximusAurelius
0100101010010101010010101010010101010101011101010110101010101
ID: ZERO
Codename: Death
certainly help me level up my skill so please check out my work
and leave comments!!! Hoping to get into a convention soon!!!
C:/ZEROMaximusAurelius
0100101010010101010010101010010101010101011101010110101010101
ID: ZERO
Codename: Death
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Question for friend and watchers
1 min read
Hey gang:
I wanted to take some time to ask, what would you like to see from me?
Ive been drawing "scraps" but I have that portion of deviant art hidden
but those of you that know me, aside from coloring? what would you
think I could reflect? just wondering gang. Ill be posting come colors soon
I wanted to take some time to ask, what would you like to see from me?
Ive been drawing "scraps" but I have that portion of deviant art hidden
but those of you that know me, aside from coloring? what would you
think I could reflect? just wondering gang. Ill be posting come colors soon
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Busy more in 2006?
1 min read
hey fellow deviants. I was just looking through my stats and I saw how
August 2006 was my busiest month ever and I started wondering what
I was doing then?...... ahh yes, I graduated high school and had just been
accepted to the AI @ Tampa and then I got busy with life. Still, it doesn't
justify as of why im not being as productive. Im trying to kill a small bug
called: PROCRASTINATION! <------big word, a life style that has been chewing
me ever since High school.
How do I kill this bug?
I mean I really love what I do and am passionate about it, but I also like to
float in space and feed my brain with flashy lights and entertaining fast and
sequential images I like to control.
So Fellow deviants, any suggestions out there on how to get rid of this bug?
is there such flea out there to get rid of it?
Please comment on the bottom! thanks
August 2006 was my busiest month ever and I started wondering what
I was doing then?...... ahh yes, I graduated high school and had just been
accepted to the AI @ Tampa and then I got busy with life. Still, it doesn't
justify as of why im not being as productive. Im trying to kill a small bug
called: PROCRASTINATION! <------big word, a life style that has been chewing
me ever since High school.
How do I kill this bug?
I mean I really love what I do and am passionate about it, but I also like to
float in space and feed my brain with flashy lights and entertaining fast and
sequential images I like to control.
So Fellow deviants, any suggestions out there on how to get rid of this bug?
is there such flea out there to get rid of it?
Please comment on the bottom! thanks
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